Some Push-Back on Preaching You’re an “Independent Woman”

As women there is certainly pride and strength in stating you’re “independent.” However, if we press pause on the Beyoncé track for a minute, we can see that we often miss an important point while being obsessed with this idea.

As humans we are biologically programmed for connection, relationships & a partner. It’s why babies need an attentive, loving caregiver to help their brains develop appropriately. It’s why after we move on from being with our parents, we have the innate desire to be with a partner.

As a secure “independent” woman, the older I get, the more I can admit that I do “need” someone (and I put need in quotations because I mean it in the healthiest way possible). 99% of us women do.

Being independent and having a partner are not exclusive things.

Life is best when we’re interdependent (defined as: two people dependent on each other). We can’t grow in a bubble. And, as women, aside from what we can bring to the table in boardrooms and offices, it is in our nature to nurture (more on all the ways men “need” women another time).

Here’s a brief list with just a few reasons as to why being independent is just less fun.

We “need:”

Someone to PUSH us — force us to evolve and grow.

Someone to give us a different perspective on our past, present or future.

Someone to teach us new things.


Did this resonate with you? Let’s connect on Twitter (@barbaradigangi) or say hello at!